I’m not a huge fan of destroying hopes and dreams, which is why talking about Adventures in the Lost Castle is going to be rather difficult. It’s the first indie game from Piotr Ciupinski of Little Snail Studios, and well, it’s just not very good.

That’s not to say it’s terrible – there are a fair few elements of the game to enjoy – it’s just that the cons far outweigh the pros. Lost Castle tries to be a retro platformer with updated graphics, and in certain respects pulls it off. Elsewhere it’s a bit ugly, it handles like a shopping trolley on the roof of a train, and there’s not really much fun to be had.

GAMEPLAY

Adventures in the Lost Castle takes the retro platforming concept and throw some “2.5D visuals” in – i.e. travelling along a 2D plane in a 3D world. The game is set in a castle, with platforms to navigate, lava to avoid and baddies to dodge. It’s incredibly tough stuff, harking back to when games actually used to be difficult.

The premise is perfectly reasonable, and the level design is definitely suitable to the type of atmosphere Piotr is hoping to provide. Ghosts and other creepy beasties roam the castle, and a single touch will end your life. If you loved the challenge that this sort of game used to throw your way, then the level of difficulty here may well be your cup of tea.

Then again, a plethora of issues will probably put you right back off. While the level design is pretty decent, the design elsewhere is not so. First off, the keyboard buttons are all over the place. The game wants you to use Ctrl, Alt and Space which – let’s be honest – is a disaster waiting to happen and a desktop waiting to be switched to. Then you’ve randomly got to press B to drop bomb. Rest assured, your hands will not thank you for this. This is a game in dire need of an options menu.

The feel of the protagonist’s movement isn’t brilliant either. He slips and slides around the place, and a simple action such as turning around can see you slipping off an edge and into some lava. While we’re all very much aware that dying during a game isn’t usually much fun, I’m pretty sure Lost Castle has given me a phobia of dying – a single touch to anything will force you to watch either a lengthy death animation or a very underwhelming one, then plonk you right back at the start of the level.

It’s not just the walking either – jumping also feels utterly odd, and it’s easy to mistime a landing, overshoot and end up in the lava. Of course, you could argue that the controls are also in aid of feeling retro – be come on now, surely we’ve moved past that.

Overall, the game simply does not feel much fun at all. The majority of my deaths felt unfair and completely out of my control, and felt me frustrated and unwilling to continue onward.

STYLE

Adventures in the Lost Castle isn’t exactly a looker. Both in screenshots and in motion, everything is very blocky and rigid – but not in a ‘wow this looks so retro’ sort of way, more a ‘this game needs more curves’ angle. The animations aren’t bad, but don’t do enough to plaster over the cracks.

There are also plenty of graphical oddities going on. In the screenshots on the Little Snail Studio site, the entire scene is visible – yet when I played, the sides of the screen were cut off in both windowed and full screen, meaning I could only see half of the lives images and part of my score. I’ve no idea why this would happen, but it’s definitely an issue.

Then you’ve got the strange interface to deal with. The title screen demands you click on buttons, yet the rest of the game is controlled via the keyboard. And how about loading screens that aren’t loading screens at all! The game exclaims ‘Level 1 Loading…’ and never progresses… until I hit enter to instantly load the level. In fact, the second the ‘Loading…’ image appears, you can hit enter to go straight into the game… so what’s the point of a loading screen then!

Sound-wise, Lost Castle is yet again an oddity. You’ve got strange, spooky noises and the faint whisperings of a soundtrack, but it’s as if someone has turned the volume knob down. I was hoping for at least a few nice ditties to drill into my head, but came away not being able to remember a single note of what I heard.

STORY

No story is provided… and honestly, this game desperately needs one! Who is this strange, yellow guy with an aardvark-style nose? Why he is collecting gems in a castle? We need answers!

OTHER

Adventures in the Lost Castle gives off that retro feeling in videos and screenshots, but actually playing the game is a different matter entirely. When all is said and done, there’s not much fun to be had here. It’s challenging, yes – but in a more ‘I want to pull my hair out’ style way than a ‘I want to beat this game’ way.

If you think you can look past the horrible controls and ugly setting, however, then you won’t exactly have to fork out much – the Lost Castle site allows you to name your price for the game, although it must be a minimum of one dollar. There’s also a demo coming soon for those who would like to see if they can stand it.

Adventures in the Lost Castle (available for PC)