Alright, admittedly nobody in France would ever exclaim the phrase in the title, but that certainly summed up my reaction when I heard Dingo Games had released The Three Musketeers, an action RPG that closely followed the novel written by Alexandre Dumas.

If you’re not familiar with the story, the game has you assuming the brash character of d’Artagnan, a young man who ventures off from his home to become a Musketeer in Paris. As you set off from your formerly sheltered life you find quickly that this particular area and time in France is a bit contentious, and if you don’t want to get walked all over you’ll have to defend your honor with your sword.

I recently had a chance to play and complete Musketeers, here are some thoughts and reactions to the more critical parts of the title.

Gameplay

The game has the look and feel of an old school action role-player, you control d’Artagnan and most everything else in the game simply with the mouse, clicking on an area you’d like to move to, a person you need to talk to/attack, opening doors and chests, etc. Felt like an RPG to me, Wandering around towns and outposts talking to NPC’s, exploring all of what the bigger cities of Paris and London had to offer, and of course: Looting in the name of upgrading. I stole from both rich and poor, raiding houses and often times taking the franks or other items I could sell right before their eyes. A lovable RPG cliche that I was more than happy to embellish in.

The role playing aspect for actual character development is fairly minor as you are playing an already defined character in an already defined story, that’s acceptable given what the game is. That said, you still have plenty of those pitfalls and awkward “what’s the right answer?” choices when engaged in many serious and/or awkward conversations, several of which are of the romantic endeavor.

The dev decided to include game advancement foot prints to let you know the next area you need to go to further the plot, this is an optional choice that can be turned off by those who are looking for a bit more of a wandering challenge.

As for the battle system, I was completely underwhelmed at first but quickly began to appreciate the simplicity of it. Once an enemy is engaged the sword play between you and the AI becomes automatic as you take swipes at one another until someone’s life bar empties. Fortunately for you, if you own any ointments (the game’s potions) you can recover fully for as many times as you have the item. Occasionally, your opponent will become winded and you can land a critical strike by clicking quickly on the enemy. Eventually guns come into play, but they hold a reload time of 10-25 seconds so you rarely get more than one shot in during a fight, that’s basically it. No boss battles really, just sword fights with men, some more skilled than others.

I didn’t think much of the overall combat system until it became apparent that one on one fights were extremely rare, instead being replaced by several rapscallions surrounding you and poking you mercilessly with swords unless you quickly make accurate decisions and critical hits to thin the field, and if for some reason you’re not engaged with the enemy when he reaches you, prepare to watch your health plummet. It did get a bit repetitive at times, and anyone who wanted to avoid any close calls could just stock up on ointment and never have to fear of death unless he was really slow to the heal button.

Once I understood the complete scope of how the simple battle system worked with taking on multiple enemies I enjoyed the combat encounters. Like I mentioned earlier, if you want to level up you have to defend your honor, a lot.

Style

While there will be no mention of the graphical brilliance of this game, the style is there brining soft colors to the surrounding world that is contrasted by the deep royal blue and bright red that adorn the two main factions involved in the plot. Cut scenes and other matters of importance are presented in enjoyable and at times hilarious comic storyboards.

Story

The game follows the actual events of the book closer than anything released prior to it, which was a good decision by the developers as the plot is plenty interesting enough to drive a game. This story is driven by mature themes including romantic entanglements, personal and political intrigue, betrayal, corruption and murder. This isn’t just about a bunch of smiling long haired fellows sword fighting with one another perpetually throughout their existence, at least not entirely.

Everything Else

Most side-quests were simple and the mini-games were dull, offering random games of chance including which single dice roll is higher? and Head or Tails? Tennis wasn’t half bad, but I got my ass kicked by Porthos and moved on to other practices.

One major complaint would be the easy difficulty, though random encounters level up with you, plot battles do not, and if you devote any time to leveling and upgrading your character you’ll find that these particular fights don’t last long. That being said the level of difficulty is not what’s truly important for this title to work.

The Three Musketeers brings plenty to the table, offering a well-paced 8-15 hour RPG experience that lets you explore in, around and outside the main plot.

[The developer/publisher gave DIYgamer.com a copy of this game for review purposes.]